The Urban Affairs Coalition Vendor Starter Kit
đź’° Invoice for subcontractor work
🤑 Your very own “Keep the Money” button
⏱️ Billable Hours Nobody Worked™
⚖️ Defamation Lawsuit Launcher™
💼 UAC-Funded Attorney Package™
🚢 Luxury Cruise Voucher™
🚨 WHY BOTHER PAYING YOUR SUBCONTRACTOR?
Get paid for the invoice, keep the money, and if the subcontractor starts asking where their money went—don’t worry.
Bill for hours nobody worked.
Apparently, if you’re going to invent numbers, you might as well make them profitable.
The subcontractor wants to get paid?
Sue them.
They complain?
Call it defamation.
They ask for an accounting?
Send in the UAC attorneys—apparently paid from the PA General Fund’s bottomless pit.
So book the cruise. Upgrade the suite. Hit the strip club. Gamble it away.
Laugh all the way to the bank.
Because nothing says nonprofit accountability quite like:
“We paid you to pay them. You kept it. And we’ll pay the lawyers when they complain.”
What a racket.
What a business model.
And somewhere, an auditor is quietly asking:
“Wait… where the hell did the subcontractor’s money go?”